Jul 11, 2005

MEMO TO THE BRITISH FILM INSTITUTE:

ESR's mandate is of course that "All film matters". And to exercise this, a long-held practice of our fine publication is that we write about trashy Grade Z movies with the same brushstroke of interpretation and allusions that a lot of the film criticism intelligensia might review anything by Fellini or Tarkovsky. We are bringing both extremes of cinema to the middle, in which each is forced to recognize the values of the other.

Now I think it necessary for all bastions of film criticism to do the same thing. Remember, cinema was made for the people, therefore why alienate the people with alot of windy pretentious claptrap? One ends up intimidating readers who might be interested in this work, however are made to feel unworthy of such specialty cinema.

You might have seen on the bookshelves these little paperbacks that have been produced by the British Film Institute- "BFI Film Clasics", seldom exceeding 80 pages but still bleeding you about 12 bucks. These singular academic pocketbooks each offer book-length analyses of such arthouse classics as GREED, ODD MAN OUT, PATHER PANCHALI, and SHADOWS, to name only some of the few dozen volumes that have been published so far.

Therefore, in an attempt to bring a fresh, radical dimension to film criticism, we propose to the BFI that perhaps for their next line of film titles they offer one book each to:

-IF YOU DON'T STOP IT YOU'LL GO BLIND
-HERBIE GOES TO MONTE CARLO
-THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER
-BRUCE LEE FIGHTS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE
-STOP OR MY MOM WILL SHOOT
-GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
-GREASE 2
-BENEATH THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRAVIXENS
-THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED UP ZOMBIES
-BLACK BELT JONES

Don't stop believing. It CAN happen.

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